6 cups water
5 tbsp miso paste
3 tbsp mushroom dark soy sauce
2 leaves kale, chopped
1 1/2 sheets dried seaweed to taste, chopped
3 green onions, chopped
6 oz tofu, cubed
Simmer dat water with the kale and seaweed. Simmer for 5 minutes.
Mash dat miso paste and soy sauce into a nother paste. Den add everything else. Simmer for mo 5 minutes.
Eat it.
Stir Fried Water Spinach with Fermented Tofu
1lb water spinach or chinese spinach
1/2 small onion
4 slices ginger
4 cloves garlic
2-4 dried chilis
3-4 cubes fermented tofu
2 tbsp shaoxing wine
2 tbsp tofu brine
1 tsp pepper
1 tsp sugar
2 tbs canola oil
1. Break water spinach into manageable pieces, removing the larger stems.
2. Slice onion, garlic, and chilis; julienne ginger.
3. Combine fermented tofu with shaoxing wine, tofu brine, dried chilis, sugar, and pepper. Mash into paste.
4. Heat oil on high and saute onion.
5. Add garlic and ginger; saute mixture.
6. Add water spinach and fermented tofu paste; stir fry until spinach is wilted, being sure to turn the spinach frequently to mix all ingredients.
A note on chinese water spinach choice: these are very similar varieties that are often sold under the same name and appear to be from the same species, but occasionally you can find water spinach sold alongside chinese spinach. Water spinach tends to have a stronger flavor which works well with the strong flavors in the sauce. Chinese spinach is more subtle but more leafy (and, at least at our local market, costs half as much).
1/2 small onion
4 slices ginger
4 cloves garlic
2-4 dried chilis
3-4 cubes fermented tofu
2 tbsp shaoxing wine
2 tbsp tofu brine
1 tsp pepper
1 tsp sugar
2 tbs canola oil
1. Break water spinach into manageable pieces, removing the larger stems.
2. Slice onion, garlic, and chilis; julienne ginger.
3. Combine fermented tofu with shaoxing wine, tofu brine, dried chilis, sugar, and pepper. Mash into paste.
4. Heat oil on high and saute onion.
5. Add garlic and ginger; saute mixture.
6. Add water spinach and fermented tofu paste; stir fry until spinach is wilted, being sure to turn the spinach frequently to mix all ingredients.
A note on chinese water spinach choice: these are very similar varieties that are often sold under the same name and appear to be from the same species, but occasionally you can find water spinach sold alongside chinese spinach. Water spinach tends to have a stronger flavor which works well with the strong flavors in the sauce. Chinese spinach is more subtle but more leafy (and, at least at our local market, costs half as much).
Cheesy Potato and Broccoli Comfort Casserole
2 tbsp flour
1 (13.5 oz) can coconut milk
5/6 cup nutritional yeast (because fuck you)
2 tsp spicy brown mustard
1 tsp paprika
Whisk flour with coconut milk in small saucepan, then cook over medium heat until sauce thickens and bubbles. Remove from heat, stir in other shit, cover.
1 cup pork-flavored dry TVP
1 cup water
½ bag of frozen chopped onions and celery
5 cloves garlic, big-ass ones
1 lb chopped broccoli
1 (14 oz) can diced tomatoes with chilis
2lb potato fries/hash browns (precooking optional for more crispy texture)
1-2 tbsp hot sauce
Preheat oven to 350º. Spray bottom of casserole dish with oil, cuz reasons.
Mix ham bits and water to soak.
Sautee onion. Mince garlic and add to onions.
Realize you forgot to thaw broccoli. Pour it into pan and warm it in oven for 10 minutes.
Pour fries out over broccoli.
Mix all remaining ingredients with cheesy sauce, and then pour over casserole.
Bake 45 minutes.
Inspired by Nutritional Yeast Cheese Sauce on Our Fresh Kitchen and Flavorful Tater Tot Casserole on AllRecipies.com.
1 (13.5 oz) can coconut milk
5/6 cup nutritional yeast (because fuck you)
2 tsp spicy brown mustard
1 tsp paprika
Whisk flour with coconut milk in small saucepan, then cook over medium heat until sauce thickens and bubbles. Remove from heat, stir in other shit, cover.
1 cup pork-flavored dry TVP
1 cup water
½ bag of frozen chopped onions and celery
5 cloves garlic, big-ass ones
1 lb chopped broccoli
1 (14 oz) can diced tomatoes with chilis
2lb potato fries/hash browns (precooking optional for more crispy texture)
1-2 tbsp hot sauce
Preheat oven to 350º. Spray bottom of casserole dish with oil, cuz reasons.
Mix ham bits and water to soak.
Sautee onion. Mince garlic and add to onions.
Realize you forgot to thaw broccoli. Pour it into pan and warm it in oven for 10 minutes.
Pour fries out over broccoli.
Mix all remaining ingredients with cheesy sauce, and then pour over casserole.
Bake 45 minutes.
Inspired by Nutritional Yeast Cheese Sauce on Our Fresh Kitchen and Flavorful Tater Tot Casserole on AllRecipies.com.
Tofeta, Kale, Quinoa, and Chickpea Casserole
1 pound extra-firm tofu
2 tbsp water
4 tsp yellow miso paste
¼ cup balsamic vinegar
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp salt
2 tbsp nutritional yeast
Mix everything but the tofu, then mix in the tofu with your hands. Completely forget to add nutritional yeast.
1 bunch kale
All that tofeta you made above
1 cup quinoa
1 (15-ounce) can chickpeas
1 tablespoon of lemon juice
2 plum tomatoes, diced
Preheat oven to 450. Place aluminum foil on baking sheet, spray with oil, tear kale into large pieces on sheet. Roast 6-8 minutes until slightly crispy. Try not to eat it all before adding it to the casserole dish. Save foil.
Actually read through rest of directions. Hollar at how wack they are.
Chop them maters. Sprinkle that shit on your casserole. Also sprinkle (drained) chickpeas and (rinsed) quinoa on top. Stir. Boil the water with the lemon juice. Pour over the casserole, then add fetofu mixture. Stir again if you feel like it, but probably not.
The oven is already at 450º, so I guess it should stay there. Cover with saved foil and bake 25 minutes. Realize you forgot to add nutritional yeast. Rationalize to yourself that you'll just sprinkle it on when serving.
We have 19 minutes. Let's do this.
Eat. Realize it's too watery.
Spread it out and bake for 20 minutes more. It's super effective!
Inspired by Vegan Feta Cheese on the Happy Herbivore and Baked Quinoa with Roasted Kale and Chickpeas on POPSUGAR.
2 tbsp water
4 tsp yellow miso paste
¼ cup balsamic vinegar
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp salt
2 tbsp nutritional yeast
Mix everything but the tofu, then mix in the tofu with your hands. Completely forget to add nutritional yeast.
1 bunch kale
All that tofeta you made above
1 cup quinoa
1 (15-ounce) can chickpeas
1 tablespoon of lemon juice
2 plum tomatoes, diced
Preheat oven to 450. Place aluminum foil on baking sheet, spray with oil, tear kale into large pieces on sheet. Roast 6-8 minutes until slightly crispy. Try not to eat it all before adding it to the casserole dish. Save foil.
Actually read through rest of directions. Hollar at how wack they are.
Chop them maters. Sprinkle that shit on your casserole. Also sprinkle (drained) chickpeas and (rinsed) quinoa on top. Stir. Boil the water with the lemon juice. Pour over the casserole, then add fetofu mixture. Stir again if you feel like it, but probably not.
The oven is already at 450º, so I guess it should stay there. Cover with saved foil and bake 25 minutes. Realize you forgot to add nutritional yeast. Rationalize to yourself that you'll just sprinkle it on when serving.
We have 19 minutes. Let's do this.
Eat. Realize it's too watery.
Spread it out and bake for 20 minutes more. It's super effective!
Inspired by Vegan Feta Cheese on the Happy Herbivore and Baked Quinoa with Roasted Kale and Chickpeas on POPSUGAR.
Found Item Soup
5 1/2 cups water
3 cubes vegetable bouillon (or 3 cups broth replacing 3 cups water)
1.5 tbsp chili powder
2 tbsp dehydrated onion
1 tbsp oregano
2 tsp paprika
some tarragon
1 tbsp chives
1 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp coarse ground black pepper
1 cup pork flavor dry TVP
1/2 cup very finely chopped cilantro stems
4 dried chili peppers
1 (10 oz) can diced tomatoes with chilis
1 (10 oz) can condensed cheddar cheese soup
1/2 cup unflavored dry TVP
1/2 lb frozen sweet corn
1 lb can refried beans
1/2 lb frozen broccoli
3 cups frozen diced potatoes
Combine in slow cooker; cook on low till you get hungry, 4-8 hours.
3 cubes vegetable bouillon (or 3 cups broth replacing 3 cups water)
1.5 tbsp chili powder
2 tbsp dehydrated onion
1 tbsp oregano
2 tsp paprika
some tarragon
1 tbsp chives
1 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp coarse ground black pepper
1 cup pork flavor dry TVP
1/2 cup very finely chopped cilantro stems
4 dried chili peppers
1 (10 oz) can diced tomatoes with chilis
1 (10 oz) can condensed cheddar cheese soup
1/2 cup unflavored dry TVP
1/2 lb frozen sweet corn
1 lb can refried beans
1/2 lb frozen broccoli
3 cups frozen diced potatoes
Combine in slow cooker; cook on low till you get hungry, 4-8 hours.
Roasted Pepper Cilantro Salsa
2 bell peppers
4 jalapeño peppers
6 roma tomatoes
1 small onion
3 cloves garlic
1/2 small bunch cilantro
2 tablespoons lime juice
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon black pepper
Slice bell peppers in half and remove stems and seeds.
Place with jalapeño peppers on aluminum foil-lined pan, and broil on high as close to broiler as possible for 15 minutes, flipping over halfway through.
Refrigerate peppers for 20 minutes in sealed container, then peel and discard skins.
Chop tomatoes and onion into large chunks so that they won't float on the top of the food processor's chamber, mocking you while the remaining ingredients liquefy at the bottom.
Toss all ingredients into food processor and hit the "make salsa" button.
Invite friends to party, asking them to bring chips because you forgot to buy them at the store, and cry about not being able to eat your delicious salsa while waiting for them to arrive.
Inspired by How To…Roast Green Chilies by the Pioneer Woman and The Best Fresh Tomato Salsa on AllRecipes.com.
4 jalapeño peppers
6 roma tomatoes
1 small onion
3 cloves garlic
1/2 small bunch cilantro
2 tablespoons lime juice
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon black pepper
Slice bell peppers in half and remove stems and seeds.
Place with jalapeño peppers on aluminum foil-lined pan, and broil on high as close to broiler as possible for 15 minutes, flipping over halfway through.
Refrigerate peppers for 20 minutes in sealed container, then peel and discard skins.
Chop tomatoes and onion into large chunks so that they won't float on the top of the food processor's chamber, mocking you while the remaining ingredients liquefy at the bottom.
Toss all ingredients into food processor and hit the "make salsa" button.
Invite friends to party, asking them to bring chips because you forgot to buy them at the store, and cry about not being able to eat your delicious salsa while waiting for them to arrive.
Inspired by How To…Roast Green Chilies by the Pioneer Woman and The Best Fresh Tomato Salsa on AllRecipes.com.
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Cat and Girl, by Dorothy
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