Depression-Era Pizza

Ingredients:
Tombstone Original Veggie Pizza
Sriracha sauce
4 Pack Steel Reserve High Gravity Lager

Step 1: Drive to local grocer.

Step 2: Buy Veggie Pizza.

Step 3: Follow instructions on back.

Step 4: Smother in Sriracha sauce.

Step 5: Get drunk and eat your sadness.

[[Girl and Grrrl are in the supermarket.]] / Girl: Buying CDs to support bands I like. [[Cat holds a box of cupcakes.]] / Girl: Organic food - no, put that away. Girl: Free range meat, you know. Girl: I try to be a morally responsible consumer. [[Cat carries a box of cookies and a pleading look.]] / Girl: No! / Grrrl: No! Grrrl: Consuming morally still reinforces the social importance of consumption! Girl: It's better than doing nothing! / Grrrl: You're using your money to feel morally superior! Grrrl: Most people buy processed agribusiness crap because that's what they can afford! Grrrl: Your ideals are a luxury! [[Girl is angry.]] [[Girl is sad.]] [[Girl sits alone in the dark eating from a box of cookies.]]
Cat and Girl - image text here

A Joe That Is Not Sloppy Is Scarcely A Joe At All

1 medium onion
3 cloves garlic
1 med pepper
1 carrot
(or sub 1.5 cup frozen chopped onion mix)

4 cups water in small saucepan
2 cubes vegetable broth bouillon
12 ounces (1 large can) tomato paste
2 tablespoons BBQ sauce
2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 teaspoons cider vinegar
1 teaspoon liquid smoke
1 tablespoon parsley
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1.5 cup dry TVP

Sauté the veggies until soft and flavorful.
Mix in with the remaining ingredients in a small saucepan, and simmer until thickened.
Eat on toast or some shit.

Inspired by Rachael Ray's Super Sloppy Joes on Food Network.

Cat and Girl, by Dorothy

Cat and Girl, by Dorothy
Click for transcript.