Depression-Era Pizza

Ingredients:
Tombstone Original Veggie Pizza
Sriracha sauce
4 Pack Steel Reserve High Gravity Lager

Step 1: Drive to local grocer.

Step 2: Buy Veggie Pizza.

Step 3: Follow instructions on back.

Step 4: Smother in Sriracha sauce.

Step 5: Get drunk and eat your sadness.

[[Girl and Grrrl are in the supermarket.]] / Girl: Buying CDs to support bands I like. [[Cat holds a box of cupcakes.]] / Girl: Organic food - no, put that away. Girl: Free range meat, you know. Girl: I try to be a morally responsible consumer. [[Cat carries a box of cookies and a pleading look.]] / Girl: No! / Grrrl: No! Grrrl: Consuming morally still reinforces the social importance of consumption! Girl: It's better than doing nothing! / Grrrl: You're using your money to feel morally superior! Grrrl: Most people buy processed agribusiness crap because that's what they can afford! Grrrl: Your ideals are a luxury! [[Girl is angry.]] [[Girl is sad.]] [[Girl sits alone in the dark eating from a box of cookies.]]
Cat and Girl - image text here
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A Joe That Is Not Sloppy Is Scarcely A Joe At All

1 medium onion
3 cloves garlic
1 med pepper
1 carrot
(or sub 1.5 cup frozen chopped onion mix)

4 cups water in small saucepan
2 cubes vegetable broth bouillon
12 ounces (1 large can) tomato paste
2 tablespoons BBQ sauce
2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 teaspoons cider vinegar
1 teaspoon liquid smoke
1 tablespoon parsley
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1.5 cup dry TVP

Sauté the veggies until soft and flavorful.
Mix in with the remaining ingredients in a small saucepan, and simmer until thickened.
Eat on toast or some shit.

Inspired by Rachael Ray's Super Sloppy Joes on Food Network.
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Cat and Girl, by Dorothy

Cat and Girl, by Dorothy
Click for transcript.