Tofeta, Kale, Quinoa, and Chickpea Casserole

1 pound extra-firm tofu
2 tbsp water
4 tsp yellow miso paste
¼ cup balsamic vinegar
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp salt
2 tbsp nutritional yeast

Mix everything but the tofu, then mix in the tofu with your hands.  Completely forget to add nutritional yeast.


1 bunch kale
All that tofeta you made above
1 cup quinoa
1 (15-ounce) can chickpeas
1 tablespoon of lemon juice
2 plum tomatoes, diced

Preheat oven to 450.  Place aluminum foil on baking sheet, spray with oil, tear kale into large pieces on sheet.  Roast 6-8 minutes until slightly crispy. Try not to eat it all before adding it to the casserole dish.  Save foil.

Actually read through rest of directions.  Hollar at how wack they are.

Chop them maters.  Sprinkle that shit on your casserole.  Also sprinkle (drained) chickpeas and (rinsed) quinoa on top.  Stir.  Boil the water with the lemon juice.  Pour over the casserole, then add fetofu mixture.  Stir again if you feel like it, but probably not.

The oven is already at 450º, so I guess it should stay there.  Cover with saved foil and bake 25 minutes.  Realize you forgot to add nutritional yeast.   Rationalize to yourself that you'll just sprinkle it on when serving.

We have 19 minutes.  Let's do this.

Eat.  Realize it's too watery.

Spread it out and bake for 20 minutes more.  It's super effective!

Inspired by Vegan Feta Cheese on the Happy Herbivore and Baked Quinoa with Roasted Kale and Chickpeas on POPSUGAR.

A Joe That Is Not Sloppy Is Scarcely A Joe At All

1 medium onion
3 cloves garlic
1 med pepper
1 carrot
(or sub 1.5 cup frozen chopped onion mix)

4 cups water in small saucepan
2 cubes vegetable broth bouillon
12 ounces (1 large can) tomato paste
2 tablespoons BBQ sauce
2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 teaspoons cider vinegar
1 teaspoon liquid smoke
1 tablespoon parsley
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1.5 cup dry TVP

Sauté the veggies until soft and flavorful.
Mix in with the remaining ingredients in a small saucepan, and simmer until thickened.
Eat on toast or some shit.

Inspired by Rachael Ray's Super Sloppy Joes on Food Network.