Tofeta, Kale, Quinoa, and Chickpea Casserole

1 pound extra-firm tofu
2 tbsp water
4 tsp yellow miso paste
¼ cup balsamic vinegar
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp salt
2 tbsp nutritional yeast

Mix everything but the tofu, then mix in the tofu with your hands.  Completely forget to add nutritional yeast.


1 bunch kale
All that tofeta you made above
1 cup quinoa
1 (15-ounce) can chickpeas
1 tablespoon of lemon juice
2 plum tomatoes, diced

Preheat oven to 450.  Place aluminum foil on baking sheet, spray with oil, tear kale into large pieces on sheet.  Roast 6-8 minutes until slightly crispy. Try not to eat it all before adding it to the casserole dish.  Save foil.

Actually read through rest of directions.  Hollar at how wack they are.

Chop them maters.  Sprinkle that shit on your casserole.  Also sprinkle (drained) chickpeas and (rinsed) quinoa on top.  Stir.  Boil the water with the lemon juice.  Pour over the casserole, then add fetofu mixture.  Stir again if you feel like it, but probably not.

The oven is already at 450º, so I guess it should stay there.  Cover with saved foil and bake 25 minutes.  Realize you forgot to add nutritional yeast.   Rationalize to yourself that you'll just sprinkle it on when serving.

We have 19 minutes.  Let's do this.

Eat.  Realize it's too watery.

Spread it out and bake for 20 minutes more.  It's super effective!

Inspired by Vegan Feta Cheese on the Happy Herbivore and Baked Quinoa with Roasted Kale and Chickpeas on POPSUGAR.

Found Item Soup

5 1/2 cups water
3 cubes vegetable bouillon (or 3 cups broth replacing 3 cups water)
1.5 tbsp chili powder
2 tbsp dehydrated onion
1 tbsp oregano
2 tsp paprika
some tarragon
1 tbsp chives
1 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp coarse ground black pepper
1 cup pork flavor dry TVP
1/2 cup very finely chopped cilantro stems
4 dried chili peppers
1 (10 oz) can diced tomatoes with chilis
1 (10 oz) can condensed cheddar cheese soup
1/2 cup unflavored dry TVP
1/2 lb frozen sweet corn
1 lb can refried beans
1/2 lb frozen broccoli
3 cups frozen diced potatoes

Combine in slow cooker; cook on low till you get hungry, 4-8 hours.

Roasted Pepper Cilantro Salsa

2 bell peppers
4 jalapeño peppers
6 roma tomatoes
1 small onion
3 cloves garlic
1/2 small bunch cilantro
2 tablespoons lime juice
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon black pepper


Slice bell peppers in half and remove stems and seeds.

Place with jalapeño peppers on aluminum foil-lined pan, and broil on high as close to broiler as possible for 15 minutes, flipping over halfway through.

Refrigerate peppers for 20 minutes in sealed container, then peel and discard skins.

Chop tomatoes and onion into large chunks so that they won't float on the top of the food processor's chamber, mocking you while the remaining ingredients liquefy at the bottom.

Toss all ingredients into food processor and hit the "make salsa" button.

Invite friends to party, asking them to bring chips because you forgot to buy them at the store, and cry about not being able to eat your delicious salsa while waiting for them to arrive.

Inspired by How To…Roast Green Chilies by the Pioneer Woman and The Best Fresh Tomato Salsa on AllRecipes.com.